How Do You Select The Best Organisation And What Are The Causes Of Domestic Violence?
What Are The Causes Of Domestic Violence and when you have a brief encounter with a narcissist, you might not realize that the person has a personality disorder which is typified by being very self-absorbed and lacking in empathy for others. However, when you are a target of narcissistic abuse, and are in a relationship with this person, your every day life becomes confusing and painful.
Before getting into ways you can rebuild your self-esteem, let’s take a moment to describe the behavior of a narcissist for those who might not be clear about what the term means. An individual with narcissistic personality disorder goes through life with an overwhelming need to be validated all the time, and told they are wonderful, smarter than anyone else and are entitled to only the finest treatment by everyone.
They take offense easily, and get angry quickly if they interpret a remark as being an insult. In their craving for attention and approval, they are usually adept at being charming when they want something from someone else, and then if they are refused will have an almost instant transformation into being very angry. What Are The Causes Of Domestic Violence in South Africa and they are quick to judge other people as inferior, and enjoy using phrases that are racist, demeaning and derogatory of other groups of people.
For example, a narcissist, feeling he is superior to everyone else, will commonly say things like, “The masses are asses!”
While some people like to say that a narcissist is someone with excess self-love or vanity, that really doesn’t do more than give a surface definition. To know more, you have to understand a bit about how this disorder began, and it is typically stated in definitions of the disorder that it began with trauma early in childhood, during the phase when the child should have been developing a healthy sense of self. Instead, the child formed the opinion, usually as a result of abusive treatment including neglect, that he was not good enough the way he was and needed to create a “perfect” persona to show to the world to gain that all-important approval the child craved.
Does Violence Begins at Home?
4. Are you still breathing? A relationship with a narcissistic abuser can feel devastating, but notice that you are still alive, and that means there is more for you to do and enjoy in this life, free from abuse. Part of your birthright is that you deserve to enjoy a life that you truly love wherein you make your dreams come true and feel happier than you ever believed possible. You can achieve this switch from victim to victorious by refusing to let the abuser win. Dismiss all those negative things he or she assaulted you with.
How Do You Handle Narcissistic Abuse?
5. Every day, repeat this affirmation to yourself several times, out loud if possible so that you hear a voice telling you this: “I do enough, I am good enough, I am enough.” Use the power of positive affirmations to build high self-esteem so that you will gradually replace those old negative statements that you accepted as true just because an abuser said them so often with great authority.
It is not an overnight process to rebuild your self-esteem when you have been repeatedly abused by a partner or parent with a narcissistic personality disorder, but don’t give up. Keep your focus on building a life for yourself where you only attract loving people and loving events to you, and you will soon find yourself smiling and enjoying peace of mind and glowing, healthy self-esteem.
Interesting Facts About What Are The Causes Of Domestic Violence in 2018:
Have you ever experienced sexual abuse? Do you know that the negative experience you had may still be affecting you in the present?
In my practice as a Marriage and Family Therapist, I discovered that many women, and even some men, experienced sexual abuse. As I counseled the clients, they became aware of the negative decisions they had made from their sexual exploitation. In fact, many years later those painful thoughts were still affecting their lives in negative ways.
Some of the symptoms that it still influenced their lives were low self-esteem, avoiding dating, struggling in their relationships, not enjoying their sexuality, hiding their physical beauty, shyness, and doing everything to please others.
I included 14 hurtful thoughts that caused the above symptoms that I heard from many of the clients of all ages. Can you relate to any of them?
14 Negative decisions based on sexual abuse include:
1) I feel shame.
2) I am bad and dirty.
3) I am not safe in the world.
4) I can't trust men not to hurt me.
5) My parent or parents betrayed me because they did not protect me.
6) I can't trust people I love to be there for me.
7) I should have stopped it.
8) Sex is painful, dirty and wrong.
9) Men want me only for my body.
10) I feel guilty because it felt good.
11) I feel different than others; I am an outsider.
12) I have to hide my secret so people do not judge me.
13) I have to do what others want me to or I am not safe or loved.
14) It is not safe for me to get attention from men.
For example, Susan was molested by her father. As a result, she hated men and that affected all her relationships with the opposite sex. She also was very cute, free- spirited and loving as a child and that is when her father started to molest her. Her decision was many of the above negative beliefs, as well as it is not safe to be free, happy and shine. She just did what people wanted to stay safe. Her self-esteem was very low and that affected her social interactions and professional success. To stuff her pain, she overate and was obese.
Her mother knew but did nothing to protect Susan. (Mothers often cannot deal with the rejection so they deny it, and may also be afraid of their partners.) To help Susan, I suggested that she imagine her mother in front of her and say, "You did the best you could with the information you had, I forgive you."
Then I helped Susan release the other negative thoughts based on her negative experiences, and she felt much better, began speaking up for herself, and her relationship improved.
By the way, sexual abuse is one major cause of weight issues. Nancy told me that whenever she was thin, men made sexual comments and she did not feel safe. The weight is her wall of protection. "Helene, she said, "I have to make myself unattractive with my unattractive hairstyle, baggy clothes, and fat, for the men to leave me alone!"
Can you relate to Susan or Nancy? If you do, it would be very beneficial to release those hurtful decisions, so that you can enjoy a healthy and happy life.
What Are The Causes Of Domestic Violence in 2018
Must be addicted to all this pain,
cause I keep coming back for the shame.
~Toni Childs, I've Got to Go Now, (1991).
This is a hard subject to talk about, always. It involves such weighty portions of shame and guilt for those who are afflicted, or possibly also for those who've been afflicted. I even ask myself if it's appropriate to write about it, in the present forum, and I suppose that because I often ponder the hard things of life, it is okay. My prayer is that it might help.
The subject is domestic violence, often precipitated by substance abuse or addiction. There is a cause-and-effect relationship at play here. The substance is the cause - initiating or compelling the behaviour; the violence is the effect.
Childs' song captures the essence of this topic with a most crippling and pain-enriched beauty. Sadly, whilst the addict is addicted to the substance, the co-dependent spouse is addicted to the pain, as they keep coming back.
This is an eternal conundrum for the family, the co-dependent spouse and the violent protagonist. It's a cycle of misery that never ends-until it does... i.e., end.
It is sad that, for many a family unit, there must be such an outcome. This is most poignantly so where things have been tried, again and again, yet there's no getting past it. Things don't change, oftentimes, until they do.
Tackling the Impossibility
Anyone in these circumstances can be forgiven for thinking they're in an impossible situation. Let's make no bones about it; what is untenable and insane is not 'fixed' quickly whatever we do.
But a relative wisdom - one requiring the courage of a rigorously continuous honesty - can be the vehicle to a better existence, especially for those truly dependent. This usually means the children entrapped beyond their will. Theirs is the oft-silent voice, but we know their pain.
Courage, the trust of our instincts, and the consideration of trustworthy advice... these three in unison, generally, will serve us well, always.
When the "ENOUGH!" point is reached, continue with your conviction, unless there's good, sustained evidence of a miracle - for any watering down of intent will further convolute an impossible situation.
Copyright (c) 2010 S. J. Wickham.
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