Abuse isn’t just about bruises. Not all forms of abuse leave bruises where we can see them,Section 12 Of Domestic Violence Act in South Africa . Although physical abuse is terrifying and needs to be addressed immediately there are other forms of abuse that can cause significant damage. One type of abuse that is very difficult for outsiders to detect is financial abuse. Marriage should be a partnership but when one spouse completely dominates the finances to the point that the other spouse has no control and no options financial abuse may be occurring.
What Are Signs of Potential Financial Abuse?
Every married couple handles their finances differently. In some cases one spouse handles the majority of the finances. They manage the accounts, pay the bills and deal with creditors. That does not by itself equal financial abuse.
Financial abuse occurs when one spouse is treated like an irresponsible child and How To Report Domestic Violence . They are cut off from funds and their knowledge about the couple’s finances is severely limited. Some signs of financial abuse include:
•Strict Allowances. This isn’t an amount that the spouses have agreed to limit themselves to but is instead a set amount that is grudgingly handed out from one spouse to the other and is all that will be given.
Documents, documents, documents. Written evidence is incredibly strong and can range from credit card bills showing that there is a credit card but that you aren’t named on it to emails from your spouse that show the financial abuse.
Other witnesses can be incredibly powerful on your behalf. Financial abuse is hard for people outside the relationship to detect. So when someone credible comes in and tells the judge that it is happening and they can see it the judge will listen and Domestic Violence Helpline .
Section 12 Of Domestic Violence Act in South Africa ?
Most of you reading this statement, 'violence begins at home', would be shocked. But this is one unbelievable fact. No matter how hard you try to overlook this statement, it will still remain the forbidden truth. Whether you accept it or not that solely depends on your opinion. In each and every household, you must have seen that the superior member of the household the inferior member is either physically or mentally assaulted. And the victims that are being assaulted are the female.
When we see a person in an abusive relationship struggling hard to put up with the abuser, the first thing we ask is why did you stay for so long? Or why don't you leave the relationship and move on? The first thing is if you have been brought up in an abusive home and have seen abusing as the daily norms than how would you know the difference between an abusive relationship and a healthy relationship. According to statistics, about 82% of children each year witness violence at home.
This tends to have an adverse effect on the young minds which is likely to be 15% more abusive when they grow up. Relationships do not always begin with abusive. If you ask any of the victims of their relationship started, they would recount it as memorable moment. Physical violence is not necessarily the only violence; even calling names belittling you etc are also violence as it lowers your self esteem. Domestic violence in particular is responsible for the majority of deaths.
In the year 2000, about 5, 20,000 died in the act of interpersonal violence. Such is the toll of violence that in the US domestic violence accounts a quarter of the crime that is being committed every year. In an abusive relationship, 1 in every 2 women is being killed by their partner. As many as 69% of women in some countries are being assaulted by their partners in their lifetime. According to records somewhere in the world one person commits suicide every 40 seconds.
Emotional Abuse Is Domestic Violence
To effectively fight domestic violence one must know the causes of domestic violence. And the first step toward knowing that is knowing what they are not.
It is not love, beauty, romance or sexuality. The sexless Puritans are highly violent toward their wives; the unattractive women are just as subject to violence as the attractive ones; and in cultures, such as India and Middle East, that have forbidden romantic love and where marriages are arranged, the violence is worse.
It is not low self-esteem. There are plenty of self-confident football types who are brutal toward their wives and plenty of shy guys who aren't.
It is not personality disorders. Not only are there many cultures in the world where violence against wives is the social norm, but there are in fact cultures in the world that think there's something wrong with the man if he is not violent toward his wife.
It is not thinking oneself a victim. There are plenty of take-charge business and military types who are severely violent toward their wives.
So what are the causes of domestic violence? The best way to ascertain that is to look at cultures in which it is the norm and compare them to cultures in which it isn't. And again and again, the answer is this: The beliefs that encourage domestic violence.
Beliefs such as:
That women are evil;
That man must be head of the family;
That masculinity means controlling the woman;
That women are "sluts," "bitches" or "whores";
That women are exploiters of men;
That women are responsible for the world's suffering;
That women should be second-class citizens and put up and shut up.
Unlike what many in psychology believe, the way one treats the other person is based, not on what one thinks about oneself, but of what one thinks about the other person. So if one has good self-esteem and thinks well about oneself but thinks badly about the other person, then one would not be good to the other person, and no amount of raising one's own self-esteem will alter that. Men's treatment of women is a result, not of what they believe about themselves, but of what they believe about women - either women in general, or about the particular woman with which they share their lives.
Furthermore, unlike what many in psychology believe, it is people's conscious convictions that determine a vast chunk of their decisions. Looking historically we see the vast extent to which people's conscious convictions charted the course of history. And now, as ugly misogynistic beliefs have become more and more prevalent, surprise surprise - we are seeing a vast rise in violence against women, even though we have not seen noticeable changes in men's self-esteem or in the number of people with personality disorders.
And it is only by addressing and changing these ugly beliefs that actually do cause domestic violence, instead of wasting everyone's time on things that don't, that it will finally become possible to do something effective about domestic violence.