What Happens When You Call The Police For Domestic Violence South Africa

Abuse isn’t just about bruises. Not all forms of abuse leave bruises where we can see them,What Happens When You Call The Police For Domestic Violence in South Africa . Although physical abuse is terrifying and needs to be addressed immediately there are other forms of abuse that can cause significant damage. One type of abuse that is very difficult for outsiders to detect is financial abuse. Marriage should be a partnership but when one spouse completely dominates the finances to the point that the other spouse has no control and no options financial abuse may be occurring.

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What Are Signs of Potential Financial Abuse?

Every married couple handles their finances differently. In some cases one spouse handles the majority of the finances. They manage the accounts, pay the bills and deal with creditors. That does not by itself equal financial abuse.

Financial abuse occurs when one spouse is treated like an irresponsible child and Domestic Violence Organisation . They are cut off from funds and their knowledge about the couple’s finances is severely limited. Some signs of financial abuse include:

•Strict Allowances. This isn’t an amount that the spouses have agreed to limit themselves to but is instead a set amount that is grudgingly handed out from one spouse to the other and is all that will be given.

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Documents, documents, documents. Written evidence is incredibly strong and can range from credit card bills showing that there is a credit card but that you aren’t named on it to emails from your spouse that show the financial abuse.

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Other witnesses can be incredibly powerful on your behalf. Financial abuse is hard for people outside the relationship to detect. So when someone credible comes in and tells the judge that it is happening and they can see it the judge will listen and Domestic Violence Help .

What Happens When You Call The Police For Domestic Violence in South Africa ?

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When the economy dips, domestic violence often increases, affecting your workplace. This is the first of two articles on preventing DV from hitting your office.

Workplace Policy

A proactive approach to domestic violence should include designing and implementing a specific domestic violence in the workplace policy. This will not only protect your organization from liability, it will protect your employees, and help victims of domestic abuse feel supported.

Your policy should, at a minimum:

  • Mitigate the effects of domestic violence in the workplace by providing victims with a link to community resources that offer counseling and advocacy. (Your organization is not required to do this itself.)
  • Heighten awareness about domestic violence among all employees.
  • Address issues related to the need for time off and security.
A more complete approach might:

  • Design an appropriate workplace safety plan, including resources, materials, and training or educational programs, as needed or as funds and time permit.
  • Establish links between your organization and the local domestic violence advocacy community.
  • Review existing employment policies and manuals to ensure that the domestic violence policy and program make sense in the organization's culture and environment.
  • Review your EAP's policies and identify those providers who possess the requisite knowledge and experience to identify and respond appropriately to domestic violence.
  • Establish and train an internal Domestic Violence Response Team, composed of designated managers, supervisors, and employees identified as the "go-to-team". Ensuring that your policy complies with the applicable laws in every jurisdiction in which it conducts business.
A model policy statement for employer use can be found through the New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence website. Leading companies (like Verizon, Liz Claiborne, and others) have created successful programs as well.

Safety Procedures

There are a number of security measures you can take to protect both the victim of domestic violence and all your employees. These procedures will also add protection in the case of a disgruntled former employee seeking to harm the past employer.

Imperative for the Targeted Individual:

  • Consider adjusting parking and office situations (is she in an office with a window on the street; or is her office far from the main cluster?)
  • Arrange for a security escort to and from buildings.
  • Give temporary assignments if possible, so employees can leave on short notice if necessary.
  • Be sure she knows what she can and should do if the abuser comes to work.
  • Attempt to prevent gossip about an abused individual's situation
  • If she has a protection order, be sure security guards and the front desk have a copy, as well as a photo of the individual.
  • Help her develop a safety plan (Legal Momentum Organization website has some examples.)
Protecting Everyone:

  • Minimal security against unauthorized persons (check-in or badges help.)
  • Provide informational pamphlets in private places, like restrooms.
  • Establish staggered, flexible work hours.
  • Raise awareness: Use posters during October (Domestic Violence Awareness Month); organize clothes or toy drives for battered women's shelters; or otherwise connect with the anti-DV community to let employees know you care.
  • Increase sensitivity: Provide training for managers, and for the DV contact team-- about how to recognize the signs of domestic violence in their staff and how to discuss the workplace policies around the issue.
  • Educate: Employee training, brown bag seminars, newsletter articles, and brochures on domestic violence all create an environment where it is safe to talk about domestic violence.

Mother In Law Abuse - What You Can Do About It

Most of you reading this statement, 'violence begins at home', would be shocked. But this is one unbelievable fact. No matter how hard you try to overlook this statement, it will still remain the forbidden truth. Whether you accept it or not that solely depends on your opinion. In each and every household, you must have seen that the superior member of the household the inferior member is either physically or mentally assaulted. And the victims that are being assaulted are the female.

When we see a person in an abusive relationship struggling hard to put up with the abuser, the first thing we ask is why did you stay for so long? Or why don't you leave the relationship and move on? The first thing is if you have been brought up in an abusive home and have seen abusing as the daily norms than how would you know the difference between an abusive relationship and a healthy relationship. According to statistics, about 82% of children each year witness violence at home.

This tends to have an adverse effect on the young minds which is likely to be 15% more abusive when they grow up. Relationships do not always begin with abusive. If you ask any of the victims of their relationship started, they would recount it as memorable moment. Physical violence is not necessarily the only violence; even calling names belittling you etc are also violence as it lowers your self esteem. Domestic violence in particular is responsible for the majority of deaths.

In the year 2000, about 5, 20,000 died in the act of interpersonal violence. Such is the toll of violence that in the US domestic violence accounts a quarter of the crime that is being committed every year. In an abusive relationship, 1 in every 2 women is being killed by their partner. As many as 69% of women in some countries are being assaulted by their partners in their lifetime. According to records somewhere in the world one person commits suicide every 40 seconds.

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Stop Abuse Have What Are The Causes Of Domestic Violence List

What Happens When You Call The Police For Domestic Violence South Africa

Abuse isn’t just about bruises. Not all forms of abuse leave bruises where we can see them,What Happens When You Call The Police For Domestic Violence in South Africa . Although physical abuse is terrifying and needs to be addressed immediately there are other forms of abuse that can cause significant damage. One type of abuse that is very difficult for outsiders to detect is financial abuse. Marriage should be a partnership but when one spouse completely dominates the finances to the point that the other spouse has no control and no options financial abuse may be occurring.

[lsup_image_30]

What Are Signs of Potential Financial Abuse?

Every married couple handles their finances differently. In some cases one spouse handles the majority of the finances. They manage the accounts, pay the bills and deal with creditors. That does not by itself equal financial abuse.

Financial abuse occurs when one spouse is treated like an irresponsible child and Domestic Violence Network . They are cut off from funds and their knowledge about the couple’s finances is severely limited. Some signs of financial abuse include:

•Strict Allowances. This isn’t an amount that the spouses have agreed to limit themselves to but is instead a set amount that is grudgingly handed out from one spouse to the other and is all that will be given.

[lsup_image_24] 

Documents, documents, documents. Written evidence is incredibly strong and can range from credit card bills showing that there is a credit card but that you aren’t named on it to emails from your spouse that show the financial abuse.

[lsup_image_46]

Other witnesses can be incredibly powerful on your behalf. Financial abuse is hard for people outside the relationship to detect. So when someone credible comes in and tells the judge that it is happening and they can see it the judge will listen and Domestic Violence Effects .

What Happens When You Call The Police For Domestic Violence in South Africa ?

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Domestic Violence: Victims of Domestic Violence

If you are a victim of domestic violence or if you know someone who is a victim of domestic violence you may not know what to do in this situation. If it is an emergency you may want to consider calling 911. If you feel trapped in an abusive relationship that involves domestic violence, know that there are many ways to get away from domestic violence. Here are some ideas for victims of domestic violence that are worth exploring.

First you may want to consider a way to get away from the abuser and perpetrator of domestic violence. Right from the first domestic violence act, you may want to consider leaving the place that you share with the aggressor. Whether it is the first act of domestic violence or not it is much safer to get away from the abuser and find another place to stay. Too often, victims of domestic violence are afraid of leaving his/her place of residence resulting in more abuse by the perpetrator of domestic violence.

If you are a victim of domestic violence you may also want to consider obtaining some external help such as requesting assistance from the police or local law enforcement. If you are in need of legal advice, you will want to consult an attorney. You may also wish to consider contacting a friend or a neighbor to get away from the situation rather than try to get trough it alone. Sadly, victims of domestic violence, who are in a very vulnerable situation, will often be persuaded from attempting to obtain help. External assistance is often very critical to help keep the victim of domestic violence protected.

Local police officers and sheriffs are often trained to handle domestic violence cases and can be extremely helpful to the victim of domestic violence. Additionally, law enforcement personnel or city attorneys can provide victims with helpful information related to domestic violence or provide referrals to other local assistance centers such as emergency shelters or safe houses. There are also many local group activities on domestic violence for women which can provide counseling and legal assistance to women.

Another consideration would be to obtain a temporary or long-term restraining order in order to stop the domestic violence. A protective order generally provides that the abuser or perpetrator of domestic violence be restrained from having any form of contact with the victim, has to move out from the residence shared with the protected person, and should stay at least 100 yards away from the protected person at all times. If any children or family members live in the same place, they may also be included in the category of protected persons.

Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence whether you are rich or poor and whatever your background, such as a school drop-out or university graduate. Therefore it is essential to know how to get help with a domestic violence situation for your own health and safety as well as the health and safety of those close to you. If you are seeking legal advice regarding domestic violence and protective orders, you will want to consult an attorney in your jurisdiction.

© 2006 Child Custody Coach

What Is Real Reasons For Domestic Violence?

It can be difficult to describe what abuse is and this is because the word 'Abuse' can mean different things to different people. For one person it might relate to emotional pain, for another it might involve physical pain. With there being different degrees of pain and hurt within these two forms of violence.

As a general guideline: this could be behaviour that occurs here and there, without it happening often enough to cause too many problems. Or it could be experienced to such an extreme that one's life becomes unbearable.

In this analysis I am going to be looking at what I currently believe causes abusive behaviour and the type of individual that commits abusive behaviour on a regular basis.

The Dictionary.com Definition

Here, it is described as the following:

• To use wrongly or improperly; misuse: to abuse one's authority.
• To treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way: to abuse a horse.
• To abuse one's eyesight; to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about; revile; malign.
• To commit sexual assault upon: Obsolete - to deceive or mislead.

My Definition

What comes to mind when I think of abusive, is compromise. When one is abused they are not being respected or treated in a humane way, they are being treated as objects. The abused person's feelings do not register to the abuser and if they are recognised, it is not enough to end the behaviour.

Empathy And Compassion

If one can't feel their own feelings, it is then a lot easier to do destructive things to another. The question is: why wouldn't the abuser have the ability to empathise or to be compassionate with another person?

It is said that the ability to empathise and to be compassionate is developed through caregivers that display the same behaviours to their children. This is also known as healthy mirroring and validation. What also happens through this process is that the child feels noticed and acknowledged, which are of paramount importance for the development of a healthy sense of self.

It could be said that because of their past, the person that displays abusive behaviour is abusing themselves just as much, if not more than they are abusing others. This is because the original abuser has been internalised. And even if the original abuser is not longer alive or around; they still have the potential to exist in the mind of the abuser or abused.

Here the voice exists like a parasite in the mind, merging with the mind and this makes it hard to notice and eliminate.

Vulnerable

This shows that it is typically a two way relationship. With people who have been abused being more likely to be attracted to an abuser. If one has been abused in their younger years and it has not been looked at processed, the mind will then continue to associate this as what familiar and safe.

It will also mean that the abused will put up with this behaviour later in life. If this is what they have experienced as a child, one will then think that it is normal and all they deserve.

If one was abused by their own caregivers, it is only normal for them to assume that this is how people are that that the world is therefore unsafe and dangerous. And also that people can't be trusted.

Awareness

To experience abuse can be extremely traumatising; with the consequences of abuse having the potential to last a life time. Time is said to be one of the greatest healers. Being around supportive people that one can feel safe around and who can listen without judgement is equally important.

This could be in the form of friends, family or a therapist. Here they will listen and acknowledge what is being said without judgement or blame. This is a process that cannot be rushed, and will happen in its own time and when one is ready to face what has happened. There is not a right or wrong time, only the time when one feels ready to undertake such an important step.

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Stop Abuse Have The Nurse Is Assessing An Elderly Woman And Suspects Abuse List

What Happens When You Call The Police For Domestic Violence 2018

Abuse isn’t just about bruises. Not all forms of abuse leave bruises where we can see them,What Happens When You Call The Police For Domestic Violence in 2018 . Although physical abuse is terrifying and needs to be addressed immediately there are other forms of abuse that can cause significant damage. One type of abuse that is very difficult for outsiders to detect is financial abuse. Marriage should be a partnership but when one spouse completely dominates the finances to the point that the other spouse has no control and no options financial abuse may be occurring.

[lsup_image_30]

What Are Signs of Potential Financial Abuse?

Every married couple handles their finances differently. In some cases one spouse handles the majority of the finances. They manage the accounts, pay the bills and deal with creditors. That does not by itself equal financial abuse.

Financial abuse occurs when one spouse is treated like an irresponsible child and Domestic Violence Gun Laws . They are cut off from funds and their knowledge about the couple’s finances is severely limited. Some signs of financial abuse include:

•Strict Allowances. This isn’t an amount that the spouses have agreed to limit themselves to but is instead a set amount that is grudgingly handed out from one spouse to the other and is all that will be given.

[lsup_image_24] 

Documents, documents, documents. Written evidence is incredibly strong and can range from credit card bills showing that there is a credit card but that you aren’t named on it to emails from your spouse that show the financial abuse.

[lsup_image_46]

Other witnesses can be incredibly powerful on your behalf. Financial abuse is hard for people outside the relationship to detect. So when someone credible comes in and tells the judge that it is happening and they can see it the judge will listen and Domestic Violence Effects .

What Happens When You Call The Police For Domestic Violence in 2018 ?

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1. Sticks and stones won't break my bones" - and words won't leave any measurable physical damage, but they will cause progressive, long-term harm. Never underestimate the power of words: words are used to brainwash.

Being told you are "stupid", "ugly", "lazy" or "worthless" is never acceptable. The first times you hear it, it will hurt, naturally. In time you "may get used to" hearing it from a partner. That's when you start to internalise and believe it. When that happens you are doing the other person's work of putting you down for them. This is why your feelings of self-worth suffer increasingly over time.

The good news is that just as words have been used to bring you down, you can learn to harness the power of words to build you up and restore your confidence and belief in yourself.

2. You are always told that it's your fault. Somehow, whatever happens, however it starts, the ultimate blame is always yours. Notice that we are talking ultimate blame here. The blaming partner will always tell you that their behaviour was caused by what you said or did. In fact, their argument runs along the lines that you can't possibly blame them for anything, because if you hadn't said what you said, or done what you did it would never have happened.

3. You're more inclined to believe your partner than you are to believe yourself. Have you ever reeled with a sense of hurt and injustice, or seethed with anger at the way you've been treated? Have you found yourself asking: "Is it reasonable to feel like this?" "Am I misinterpreting things?" "Have I got it wrong?"

If this is you, what it means is that you have become so brainwashed you've stopped trusting in your own judgement. Your mind keeps throwing up the observations and questions because, deep down, you know that what is happening is utterly wrong. But right now you can't feel the strength of your own convictions.

4. You need your partner to acknowledge your feelings. Have you ever felt desperate to make your partner hear what you are saying and apologise for the hurtful things they've said? Have you ever felt that only they can heal the pain they've caused?

Does your need for them to validate your feelings keep you hooked into the relationship?

When a partner constantly denies or refuses to listen to your feelings, that is, unquestionably, mental abuse.

5. Your partner blows hot and cold. He can be very loving but is often highly critical of you. He may tell you how much he loves you, yet he is short on care or consideration towards you. In fact, some of the time, maybe even a lot of the time, he treats you as if you were someone he truly dislikes.

You do everything you can to make him happy, but it's never good enough. You're more like the pet dog in the relationship than you are the equal partner. Your constant efforts to get his attention and please him meet with limited success. Sometimes he'll be charmed, often he's dismissive.

If you find yourself puzzling about how your partner can treat you that way, it is because you are trying to live in a love-based relationship, when in reality you are living in a control-based relationship. The mental abuser struggles with his own feelings of worthlessness and uses his relationship to create a feeling of personal power, at his partner's expense.

6. You feel as if you are constantly walking on eggshells. There is a real degree of fear in the relationship. You have come to dread his outbursts, the hurtful things that he will find to say to you. (Maybe the same anxiety and need to please spill over into your other relationships also.)

Fear is not part of a loving relationship, but it is a vital part of a mentally abusive relationship. It enables the abuser to maintain control over you.

7. You can heal. Mentally abusive relationships cause enormous emotional damage to the loving partner who tries, against all odds, to hold the relationship together and, ultimately, can't do it, because her partner is working against her.

Whether you are currently in a mentally abusive relationship, have left one recently, or years later are still struggling with the anxieties and low self-worth and lack of confidence caused by mental abuse, it is never too late to heal.

But you do need to work with a person or a programme specifically geared to mental abuse recovery.

Women who have suffered mental abuse expect radical change of themselves, and they expect it right away. This is why they often struggle and, not uncommonly, take up with another abusive partner.

Mental abuse recovery is a gradual process. Low self-worth and limiting beliefs about what kind of future the abuse sufferer can ever hope for are the blocks that can stop women from moving on. But they are blocks that you can clear very effectively. Just as language was once used to harm you, you can now learn how language can heal you. You can overcome past mental abuse and keep yourself safe from it in the future. You can also learn to feel strong, believe in yourself and create the life and the relationships you truly want.

"The Woman You Want To Be" is a unique workbook designed to accompany you on a year long journey into emotional health and happiness.

(C) 2005 Annie Kaszina

Child Abuse - What Are The Causes and Effects?

Good self-esteem or positive identity is an asset to any person. It helps improve relationships, confidence, job performance and makes it easier to enjoy and embrace life to the fullest. When a person has been abused, their good self-esteem is threatened and often lost. Understanding how this happens and knowing practical ways to deal with it can be valuable tools in our self-help toolbox!

Each of us is born with the gift of individual person-hood. Our unique genetic make-up and DNA set us apart from all others. We have boundaries that help us to know where we stop and where others start. Inside of these boundaries and within the context of our individual person-hood, we are free to grow, to question, to risk, to explore and to experience life in our own unique way! If allowed to continue and encouraged from those closest to us, we become comfortable in our own skin (within our own boundaries) and a positive identity develops.

Abuse is an invasion of those boundaries; an attack on our individual person-hood. Abuse happens when someone stronger than ourselves overpowers us, either emotionally, physically, verbally or sexually. Even if the abuse is not "severe" in comparison to what others have experienced, the impact on our self-esteem can be severe. The boundaries between us and the perpetrator are blurred. We tend to own some or all of the blame for the abuse and thus take on what rightfully belongs to the invader. With our boundaries destroyed and our person-hood invaded, we are left vulnerable to the world around us and confused about who we really are.

A common reaction to the invasion of abuse is withdrawal. Sometimes the victim will withdraw so far that they actually dissociate from the event completely. This may be good in the long run except for the fact that the dissociation almost always involves other emotions, longings, fears and identity markers that can no longer be accessed. People who are extremely shy and introverted, people who are emotionally shut down and people who lack in social graces are often (not always) reacting to some kind of abuse. The invasion has left them afraid to feel, afraid to connect and afraid to make a mistake.

Another reaction to the invasion of abuse is an attempt to build a wall of defense. The feeling of vulnerability is countered by erecting some kind of wall that we believe will protect us. We can become very angry and keep others at arms length by our temper. We can become very controlling and thus minimize the possibility of future hurt. We can become very sarcastic or funny to deflect our real feelings. We can become an overachiever so that others will identify us by our accomplishments and not by our fears. These walls feel protective but are actually putting us in bondage. We cannot do life without our anger, control, sarcasm, humor or achievements so we are not free to be who we really are... we are forced to keep up the act... and that is exhausting.
This second reaction was my own way of dealing with childhood sexual abuse. I kept the walls firmly in place from age 11 until age 35. At that point, exhausted from trying to keep myself safe, I attempted suicide, not out of despair as much as out of exhaustion!

When we react in either of these ways to abuse, we end up losing ourselves, our true identity, our positive identity or self-esteem. There is another way. From my own experience I have learned the power of these positive and practical steps that can lead us out of brokenness and into confidence in who we really are. Consider the following:

1) Be honest about our abuse.

We cannot properly deal with all of the feelings and reactions associated with our abuse if we refuse to face what actually happened. As with any recovery program, admitting the problem is the beginning of healing.

2) Forgive those who hurt us.

Holding on to the anger, hatred, malice or even ambivalence toward our abuser only keeps us tied to them and to the abuse and its consequences. Forgiveness does not mean that you are saying it was no big deal. It is not saying that you would let them hurt you again. It is not saying that it did not happen. Forgiveness is simply a choice to release them after coming to the conclusion that there is nothing they could do that would take away what happened to us.

3) Surrender our coping mechanisms.

Just as we have to be honest about our abuse, we have to be honest about all of the ways that we have developed to try to help ourselves cope with the abuse. What walls have we erected? What masks have we put on to hide from others? What self-medicating habits have we picked up? Name these coping mechanisms and then willingly lay them down. We may need to invite a few people who are close to us into this process since we often have blind spots related to coping.

4) Embrace the truth about who we really are.

Learn to look beyond what happened to us to the person we really are on the inside. At this point, having a relationship with God is a key factor. If we have become connected with our Creator through the sacrifice of His Son Christ Jesus, we get our true identity from Him. We are His sons and daughter, regardless of our abuse, achievements, failures or coping mechanisms.

5) Join a safe community.

At this point, with walls torn down and feelings exposed, belonging to a community where we feel safe is vital. A support group, home group, counselor or accountability group can provide a place for us to grow in our new positive identity. People who know our need for healing and encouragement will be a great help in this process of rebuilding.

Commit with me not to allow past abuse in our lives to rob us of our positive identity. Choose life!

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Stop Abuse Have The Cycle Of Domestic Violence List